He Told Me That "Santa's Not Real"

When you were a child (living in America), it's most likely that your parents led you believe in Santa for a few good years of your life. I still remember fully believing Santa was the one who dropped off my life-size Barbie and pack of stickers one Christmas-- even if his handwriting on the card looked incredibly similar to my dad's...

Eventually, I learned the truth about St. Nick and it actually didn't leave my entire childhood in disarray. I did, however, know of plenty of other kids who were mortified to realize their egg-nog smelling and present-bearing Christmas senior citizen was a fraud.

I can't say my world shattered when I learned that the Easter bunny was purely symbolic or that the tooth fairy was my mom leaving spare change either. But, recently Henry broke some news to me that tragically left me feeling like a child who just learned everything she believed in was a lie.

This is how it went down:

Last Sunday morning around 6:00 A.M while visiting my parents in L.A...

Mrs.: "Come cuddle, please!"
Mr.: "Not right now."
Mrs.: "What do you mean? This is my favorite part of the morning!"
Mr.: "I don't like to cuddle all the time. It's uncomfortable."
Mrs.: "...but we don't cuddle all the time. We only do for a little bit and then we roll off to sleep or when we're both laying awake in bed..."
Mr.: "Yea, I don't like it. I only like it sometimes."
Mrs. "WHAT? How can you say you don't like to cuddle or hold me?? You don't like to spoon?? I can't believe this!"
Mr.: "No, I'm saying I like it for a little bit and then I need to move!"
Mrs.: "I can't believe this! We've been cuddling for 8 years and you tell me NOW that you don't like it? It was all a lie!"
Mr.: "You're being dramatic. It wasn't a lie. You probably shouldn't get so worked up when you're half asleep and pregnant."
Mrs. "I am NOT being dramatic! *sobbing* You don't even like to cuddle! This is the worst news ever. Cuddling is my favorite! I feel like you just told me Santa doesn't exist and I'm a four-year old!"
Mr.: "WOMAN! Go to back to sleep!"
Mrs.: *sobbing silently as she dozes off again*

A few hours pass. We enjoy breakfast with my parents before heading to the airport to catch a flight back to our home. While waiting for our shuttle...

Mrs.: "I can't believe you don't like to cuddle."
Mr.: "Oh my gosh. I didn't say that! I said I don't like to cuddle all the time!"
Mrs.: "This is heartbreaking!" *tears fill up in her eyes before she starts to cry*
Mr.: "HAHAHAHAHA you're so pregnant! Don't cry about it!"
Mrs.: "Maybe I am! Maybe I can't help it, but I am so sad! Don't laugh at me!" *sobs louder*
Mr.: "GEEZ! I like to eat donuts, but I don't eat them all damn day long! Do you??"
Mrs.: *sobs pause for a bit* "Well, when you say it like that...I feel a little better..."
Mrs.: "...but I still feel like Rachel when she found out Ross had a 'hug-and-roll' trick that he taught Chandler."